Category Archives: Book Trailers

Global Ebook Awards 2013, Best LGBT Fiction: “The Agony of Joy” by Red Haircrow

2013 GLOBAL EBOOK AWARD WINNER: BEST LGBT FICTION

It’s one of those things…well, it’s one of those things I never actively think of: winning an award, but I know what The Agony of Joy meant to me. It’s fiction, but it’s also my story in that it is based on real life situations I’ve dealt with (and still do in some ways) and what others close to me have experienced. Being a child abuse survivor, devastatingly losing a beloved to suicide, parental distance and strife.

 

It took me almost ten years to complete, from beginning to end, because it is a very vividly realized novel, which can have “triggers” for survivors like me. Triggers refers to those phrases, suggestions, scenes or dialogue that “trigger” memories of abuse or some other traumatic episode, but my point wasn’t to force that: it was simply to present the reality we live with every single day.

 

The moments we have to fight through when others are oblivious, just to keep going: to keep walking, to keep working, to go about daily activities. Sometimes it is excruciating physically, mentally and emotionally, but we go on because that’s what we know to do, and because those ones who hurt us didn’t ultimately break our hope or belief in goodness or in trying to do good for others because that is what helps us keep living.

 

There’s an anonymous saying: “Always be kinder than necessary. You never know what someone is going through.” That is CANON. Too few people ever consider such a thing, only thinking of themselves, their own needs and wants for even the most minor thing.

 

Almost ten years. I had to take a hiatus from writing AofJ because my own memories were close to overwhelming me at times. Like the character Adrian Lee also, the family divide because of choices and sexuality, the disrespectful and insulting treatment hurled my way was tearing me down. But I completed the book eventually.

 

And then you submit your book. And you receive replies like:

 

“This is ordinary….”

 

“This didn’t grab me….”

 

“This is too unreal, unbelievable….”

 

When it was my life. It was the life of men I’ve known, loved, and some of whom are now dead because the crushing disappointment  of being dismissed, disbelieved or disrespected became too much for them. Most of the scenes/locations in the novel are based on actual places, restaurants, places I’ve lived and explored.

 

I believed in this work. It was a complete labor of love, hard fought and won. I didn’t let the literal couple of hundred of rejections get me down, but I also didn’t go with a couple of acceptances as the understanding of what the novel is was important for the story and for me. I knew it was a story I had to tell because it was important not only for me, but for millions of others who have lived or are living in such situations regardless of social status, religion or belief system, ethnicity, nationality, sexuality, etc.

 

No, awards aren’t everything. There are many great books out there that don’t get the attention they deserve. This award was important for me because I know publishers, especially traditional ones, are very dismissive, often editors only go by their own whims or reading tastes, and what they THINK readers want. I’m glad the judges of this award were more objective and recognized Agony for what I tried my damndest to present just as it had been lived.

 

My latest interview for this novel was at the AuthorQuiz website, where you can read more details about its writing and background. The book trailer is below. It was first published at Smashwords, and is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple, Kobo and other online distributors.

 

Other of my posts about The Agony of Joy:

 

 

Description: “Former model turned actor Adrian Lee can barely list age range ’23-29′ on his resumé anymore nor stand his life of empty social events and appearances, meaningless roles and casual partners. When he meets Alexander Skizetsky by clever arrangement of his agent, the enigmatic yet infinitely attractive Russian kindles a little light of hope in his aching heart. Yet even the beginnings of a friendship and love beyond his wildest dreams cannot assuage a life spiraling out of control.

 

The long estrangement from his devout Irish Catholic parents and family and the dark secrets they all share combine to drive him to the brink of despair, though Alexander is determined to stay by his side. After locking away his own memories of betrayal and loss, the Russian had decided never to love again but something in Adrian spurs the noblest intentions in his formerly jaded heart. Returning in pilgrimage to his homeland, he brings Adrian along on a journey of rebirth, revelation and redemption.”

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Giveaway: Sept. 21-25, Robert Dunbar’s “MARTYRS & MONSTERS” is Free at Amazon!

The Autumnal Equinox is Saturday, September 22nd.
Celebrate the season of the witch with a free Kindle download of Robert Dunbar’s
“MARTYRS & MONSTERS.”
Horror and Suspense, Science Fiction and Fantasy — a collection of dangerously dark fiction for adults … by the author of THE PINES, THE SHORE and WILLY.

THE PRESS about

MARTYRS & MONSTERS by Robert Dunbar

 

“Completely and utterly engrossing.”

Lambda Literary Foundation

 

“A masterpiece.”

Dark Scribe Magazine

 

“Not a book to read lightly.”

RAINBOW REVIEWS

 

“Brilliantly chilling … searingly erotic.”

The Edge

 

“Substantial amounts of panache and poetic insight.”

Cemetery Dance Magazine

 

“Provocative … vivid and visceral.”

GUD Magazine

 

“Never less than brilliant.”

The Black Abyss

 

“Hauntingly sensual … with a razor’s edge of eroticism.”

Hell Notes

 

 

Love hurts. Explore your darkness.

Find out more about this title and other releases from Uninvited Books at www.UninvitedBooks.com

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Book Trailer for “Silence Is Multi-Colored In My World”

The video description of a biography written in memoir style of a courageous young deaf man, the compilations of notes, journal entries and essays, as well as my observations of a person I felt the personification of beautiful. Of the ability to create light from darkness, joy from pain. For more details, description and an excerpt, please visit its page on GLBT Bookshelf, Silence, and for a great review of the work at The LL Book Review.

I first heard the song “Midnight” by Minako Obata, when it was the end theme of an episode of the anime, “Black Lagoon.” I was riveted in place, and found it unforgettable, just like G.Y.S. The acapella arrangement is lovely, haunting, with a bittersweet sadness that also reminds me of him. He couldn’t have heard it, but he could have felt it.

As  I wrote in more detail in my previous author’s note: “He lived most of his life in or near Berlin in Germany. Whether by train, bus or foot sometimes when I am wandering through the countryside or city, through the many parks or shopping arcades filled with people and I happen to see a tall, slim person with long reddish hair: I have a little pain inside me.

It stops me in place because I think of him. If the person is moving away from me, sometimes I wish it were him somehow, still alive, still touchable in the physical sense. I want to imagine he is alive and loved by someone even if it is not myself, he, my special phantom of the city. It is hard to accept sometimes that so vibrant a soul is now gone from this world, but I believe I will see him again one day.”

This photo used in my video is one I took at Scharmützelsee, where he also used to walk, as I still do as often as possible. Other photo journals I’ve made in Germany can be found in this entry on Songs of the Universal Vagabond.

Lyrics:

“Someday I want to run away
To the world of midnight
Where the darkness fill the air
Where it’s icy cold

Where nobody has a name
Where living is not a game
There, I can hide my broken heart
Dying to survive

There, no one can see me cry
The tears of my lonely soul
I’ll find peace of mind
In the dark and cold world of midnight.”

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Our Indie Titles are all Free at Smashwords, “Read an Ebook Week” March 4-10, 2012!

“For one week only, thousands of Smashwords authors and publishers will provide readers deep discounts on ebooks, with coupon code levels for 25%-off, 50%-off, 75%-off and FREE.” To learn the background behind Read an Ebook Week, see Mark Coker’s interview with Rita Toews at Huffington Post from two years ago.

Enter the coupon code RE100 at check-out, to receive any of my indie published titles for free.

These include:

Katrdeshtr’s Redemption, The Night Cat, Book 1 (Genre: vampire fiction, gay themes)

Description: “Ancient, brutal beauty, Katrdeshtr the Night Cat, Russian vampire and incorrigible mischief maker turns to old pleasures to relieve his eternal boredom, yet when his sometimes partner finds a new love, satisfaction takes on new meaning. This change of events can only end in someone’s eternal death and Kat doesn’t intend for it to be him!”

The House of Doom, Dreams and Desire (Genre: psychological erotica, gay fantasy)

Description: “John Jones believed himself the most enlightened of gay men. Professional, well read and boyishly handsome despite his age, he also believed himself open-minded, tolerant and devoid of vice. Yet he cannot resist the temptation of “The House”, a computer generated environment where one can explore their subconscious in a safe environment. Safe except for the darkness you bring with you. A mind and gender bending fantasy tale!

The Coat: Secrets of a Hatcheck Boy (Genre: contemporary gay fiction)

Description: “While working in a Dublin nightclub, Liam becomes obsessed with a beautiful patron whom he names Silky, because of the man’s extravagant furred coat. It inspires countless wonderful fantasies for young Liam, but what happens when he’s caught at play?”

The Angel of Berlin (contemporary fantasy, gay themes)

Description: “When Robin, a young university student, saves the life of a beautiful youth, he finds he’s made a devoted friend. But without memory and voice, the newly named Angel is a mystery, occasionally exasperating with his child-like qualities yet with touches of darkness that make Robin wonder what kind of being he’s really taken in.”

Night Shift (contemporary fiction, gay drama)

Description: “Working the night shift to get away from a troubled home, Jamie endures the motley crew, aimlessly drifting along until Derrik, a mysterious new co-worker, arrives and transforms his life. Jamie finds himself falling for Derrik, but the older man harbors a secret that threatens to come between them.”

Songs of the Universal Vagabond (non-fiction, collected flash memoirs)

Description: “From dropping the Christmas goose in Berlin, Germany to surviving tornadoes in Alabama, and recounting the stories of WW2 survivors, Red Haircrow also takes the reader into the oral tradition of storytelling among their Native American friends and family, and how life is as a “two spirit” individual.”

 Flying With Red Haircrow’s Publisher Page on Smashwords, for a list of all titles.

Other notes:

View the book trailer for my first full length novel coming soon!

 

An excerpt can be found at their GLBT Bookshelf website, The Journey of Red Haircrow. http://bookworld.editme.com/The-Agony-of-Joy

Description: “Former model turned actor Adrian Lee can barely list age range ’23-29′ on his resumé anymore nor stand his life of empty social events and appearances, meaningless roles and casual partners. When he meets Alexander Skizetsky by clever arrangement of his agent, the enigmatic yet infinitely attractive Russian kindles a little light of hope in his aching heart. Yet even the beginnings of a romance beyond his wildest dreams cannot assuage a life spiraling out of control.

The long estrangement from his devout Irish parents and family and the dark secrets they all share combine to drive him to the brink of despair though Lexx is determined to stay by his side. After locking away his own memories of betrayal and loss, Lexx had decided never to love again but something in Adrian spurs the noblest intentions of his formerly jaded heart. Returning in pilgrimage to his homeland, he brings Adrian along on a journey of rebirth, revelation and redemption.”

 BTW:

Help Stop Censorship! If you believe a corporation shouldn’t impose its own moral beliefs on everyone else, sign the petition: http://www.change.org/petitions/stop-censorship-2

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Book Trailer: “The Agony of Joy” by Red Haircrow

Longer than many book trailers, at its current length of 5:34, it is more of a video description than a quick piece but representative of the type of novel “The Agony of Joy” is: of serious themes dealing with child sexual abuse, family rejection due to sexuality, anxiety and depression disorders and prescription drug over usage. All the same, it is mediative and very much a story of love, passion and promise.

Description: “Former model turned actor Adrian Lee can barely list age range ’23-29′ on his resumé anymore nor stand his life of empty social events and appearances, meaningless roles and casual partners. When he meets Alexander Skizetsky by clever arrangement of his agent, the enigmatic yet infinitely attractive Russian kindles a little light of hope in his aching heart. Yet even the beginnings of a romance beyond his wildest dreams cannot assuage a life spiraling out of control.

The long estrangement from his devout Irish parents and family and the dark secrets they all share combine to drive him to the brink of despair though Lexx is determined to stay by his side. After locking away his own memories of betrayal and loss, Lexx had decided never to love again but something in Adrian spurs the noblest intentions of his formerly jaded heart. Returning in pilgrimage to his homeland, he brings Adrian along on a journey of rebirth, revelation and redemption.”

For an excerpt of this contemporary gay fiction novel, please visit The Journey of Red Haircrow, on GLBT Bookshelf.

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